the brink of normality

well, i would like everyone (which i think so far actually consists of no one, from what i can tell. so i would like me...) to know that since my last posting, i have come into some socks. my roomie bought me some new socks which has secured her spot as best roommate ever. the roommate who formally used to hold this title is still a close second though. (those aopi's aren't so slutty and vindictive after all...huh.) this may seem like an odd gesture to some, but it was a true gift of the heart and made me happy.
also, we've officially secured a two bedroom which will be ours around the first of the year. there's a fire place and i'm super pumped about that. it will be a fun new era in my life and i think i will officially transition from qualifying my baton rouge residency ("well i'm living in baton rouge now, but i was living in new orleans") to just "i live in baton rouge." which is a fun step for me. so things are still on the steady path to normalcy.
it still amazes me how much comfort there is in new orleans people "carrying their cross" and how bonding it is to talk to somebody else from new orleans who has shared in this crazy experience. if it were anything else, i'd definitely write it off as melodrama, but the size and scope of this disaster, combined with the fact that there's still no clear cut clean up plan, and things "getting back to normal" is never going to happen, but even "livable" is still pretty far off means that it's not melodrama, but just that there's no other even by which to scale what's going on emotionally for people. i'm just super thankful that the Lord has provided such an amazing group of friends to support me and help keep me emotionally healthy. which is yet another reason why living in baton rouge is best case scenario right now.
i definitely think that romans 8:28 has always been the linchpin of my life, and this season is no exception.

Has anyone seen my socks?

I can’t find my socks anywhere. I’ve been wearing my roommate’s socks since Katrina. I know that I packed them, but every time I go to look for them, I can’t find them. So I just borrow hers. And she doesn’t care at all. But they’re not mine.
It’s been nearly 3 months since the Katrina happened. Tonight I am sleeping in exactly the same bed that I was on the night I first left NOLA. I’ve slept here most nights since. It’s a really nice bed and if anything in all this, I’ve learned that a bed is nice but not a necessity. A lot of people don’t have beds; not even loaner, shared beds, as I do. So I really have nothing to complain about at all.
It’s just that it’s not My bed. At the risk of sounding incredibly shallow and materialistic, I will publicly admit that I’m just a touch shallow and materialistic. I WANT MY STUFF BACK. The majority of my earthly belongings are safe and sound (and dry), over at my friend’s garage. He gave me the garage door opener, so I can go visit my stuff any time I want. I feel kind of like a divorced mother who does not have legal guardianship, but can see her kids when she wants. Which sounds nice, but it’s just not the same at all.
It’s not even that my stuff is all that great. But it is mine, which means it is familiar, and it makes up my life. Perhaps there’s some hidden depth to be discovered in all this, but really I’d just like to have my stuff around me again.
I feel like I’ve done a good and healthy job at every stage of coping with this random tragedy that has fallen on everyone from NOLA. In all honesty, I came out ahead financially in all this (don’t tell FEMA), and I have a wonderful roommate, and have a lot more of like-hearted friends around, and I love my church and love being more involved in that. Love everything. But I miss complaining about school with my school friends. I miss going to class and having routine and eating fudge rounds in the student center. I just miss the mundane, stupid stuff that was my unexciting life before. But it was My life. And now, even though it seems things are settled, it is still very far from normal, with no hopes of returning to normal any time soon, if ever. (Actually, this isn’t even “new normal” yet b/c there will still be a move to a 2 bedroom sometime in the future. This ought to make me feel better because then I’ll have my stuff back and my own space. I expect “new normal” to be fantastic, but this “pseudo normal” is wearing me down.) It’s true that this life may be even a little better than normal, but I still miss the old normal. So even though I feel like I should be over it and super excited about all the new and great things in my new life, I still sometimes just have really pissy days like today where I’m just pissy and miss my old life. Most days are fine, but today was pissy. I want my stuff back. I want a new normal and not just this holding room of normal. Soon enough. And really, I don't even like wearing shoes and socks anyway. I'd rather wear flip-flops.
I'm not even sure if anyone will read this, since I haven't posted since May, so let me know if this is for anyone other than me...